On Sunday, the NY Times Style section featured an article about the upcoming documentary to be aired Tuesday May 10 on the Oprah Network on the gender re-assignment – aka sex change- of the former Chastity Bono to Chaz Bono.

I read this at a Mothers Day barbecue at my brothers’ house in the company of my mother, my daughter, my brother and his family and his very conservative Greenwich CT in- laws. Great sensational stuff, complete with photo’s of the adorable blond baby Chastity with her wild and groovy parents Sonny and Cher to the newly transformed Chaz, “the guy”, and if that wasn’t enough, shots of Chaz with his not so unattractive longtime girlfriend Jennifer, then standing alongside and a foot below his micro-minnied younger than what should be mother Cher….who has a creepy resemblance to girlfriend Jennifer but lets not even go down that path; our eyes might roll back in our heads.

You would think this would be enough to give your average mothers day barbecue some extra octane fuel to kill at least a couple of hours of an otherwise pleasant-but-same old family get together, but let me just say, if you read the whole article, which I did at the expense of being yelled at by my brother for being rude and not “participating” with the social

events going on outside, you too, would get why I couldn’t drag my weary butt outside until I’d finished the entire article and re-read half of it.

No, the real eye opener, by far, to me is the statement by Chaz, where he describes his former tolerance of Jennifer’s “hilarious outspokenness” when coming to terms with her lover’s gender transition, which, when still female, he could relate to, but now, as a man, he has little to no patience for. Really???

Chaz goes on to say ”Jenny and I had to relearn how to be together. I never really understood women before, to be honest, but I had a tolerance for women that I don’t have now.”

Wow! (Me, unable to stifle myself) He then goes on to say: “No, really. There is something in testosterone that makes talking and gossiping really grating. I’ve stopped talking as much. I’ve noticed that Jen can talk endlessly.” He shrugged.

“I just kind of zone out.”

Interviewer: “You just don’t care!”

Chaz: “I just don’t care!” He laughed. “I’ve
learned that the differences between men and women are so biological. I think if people realized that, it would be easier. I would be a great relationship counselor. I know the difference that hormones really make.”

Let’s just take this in for a moment. Talk about Venus and Mars…and Chaz! Oh the things Chaz could teach us! Oh the answers he has! Oh if only I could pick his spankin’ fresh male brain! (which also enjoys gadgets and toys much more now, and has a need for more ‘release’, if you know what I mean). Oh if only he did have his counseling degree! I would be first in line at his door, even if he couldn’t take my insurance.

The implications and contributions a former female, current male, could make to the world of communications, to gender relations, to couples therapy, to matchmakers and dating professionals, to target audiences, to…..bloggers!!

OK, so equipped with my new knowledge of hormone driven attention spans, I dedicate this column to all the women out there. Version 2, same subject, targeted to men, will read as follows:

Chaz Bono, former female, current male, tells us what we’ve all known for a long time: “KISS”, aka “less is more”.